Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

My favorite date activity is ice skating because I’m really good at it, and it allows me to assert dominance on the ice.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,655

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Just landed via Telegram:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about love and kindness, playful and lighthearted in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When it comes to hearts, I guess it's all about the temperature control! ❤️‍🔥❄️😄

bad, breaking, breaking heart, emotion, good, heart, humor, irony, love, melting, melting heart, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Telegram this month:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

67 shares on Slack this month:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

58 shares on X this month:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

86 shares on X this month:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Whoever created / mandated the auto start-stop feature on cars should be dragged into the town square to be tarred and feathered!

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Seen just now on Reddit:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Making waves on Twitch:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Shared recently on Discord:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Making waves on WeChat:

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

Spotted on Discord:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Making waves on Twitch:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Going viral on Discord:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Trending via Instagram:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Just shared via Facebook:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨