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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

68 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,337

Funny Quotes Topics

17,456

Funny Quotes Images

15,337

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,645

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

Going viral on Messenger:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Going viral on Facebook:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

Going viral on Telegram:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Trending via Messenger:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

Trending via WeChat:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

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Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”
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Commentary:
Caesar, looking shocked: "Is it bring your knife to work day or something? 🤨🔪" Looks like someone forgot the memo on cutlery etiquette! Watch out for any unexpected office shenanigans… or salad cravings! 😂 #OfficeAntics #KnifeLover

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on WeChat this month:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

74 shares on X this month:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

84 shares on Slack this month:

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

42 shares on X this month:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Being social sucks all my energy.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody can ragebait as successfully as your own mother can.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

68 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,337

Funny Quotes Topics

17,456

Funny Quotes Images

15,337

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,335

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Shared recently on Twitch:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Making waves on Messenger:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Going bananas on X:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Just shared via Pinterest:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Just shared via X:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

Shared recently on Slack:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Just shared via Pinterest:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

Seen just now on Telegram:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

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