Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,065

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

Trending via Messenger:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Seen just now on Facebook:

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs camping when you have a cozy mortgage to keep you sheltered and warm? 💁‍♂️🏡 #IndoorisLife"

activity, camping, comfort, home, humor, i, mortgage, outdoor, outdoor activity, outside, pay, sleep, thank, wanted

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

0

2 months ago

day, eating, food, humor, importance, meal, next, timing
Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

0

2 months ago

40, activity, birthday, birthday party, celebration, depot, fun, fun activity, home, Home Depot, humor, men, over, over 40, party, should, store, stores
The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

0

2 months ago

brain, delete, female, female brain, gone, humor, internet, memory, never, never gone, psychology, something, works
I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

0

2 months ago

annoy, change, furniture, home, humor, husband, i, people, rearrange, relationship, tell, things
When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

0

2 months ago

answer, communication, humor, love, only, questions, relationship, should, text, texts, three, woman
Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

0

2 months ago

ambulance, doctors, health, hope, hospital, humor, i, irony, okay, seen

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Twitch this month:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

24 shares on Discord this month:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

51 shares on Discord this month:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

43 shares on X this month:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

It really annoys me when people use the wrong word and don’t have the humidity to admit it.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You can tell a group isn’t gonna make it big just by their name.

Going viral on YouTube:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Spotted on Instagram:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Breaking via Snapchat:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Going viral on Discord:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Breaking via TikTok:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨