Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,644

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Just shared via Messenger:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Freshly posted on X:

What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?

Trending via Discord:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Just shared via WeChat:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Broadcasted on Discord:

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

Just landed via Threads:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Going bananas on YouTube:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Making waves on Reddit:

I will never stop being a quitter!

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"BRB, busy using duct tape and coffee! ☕️😂 #LifeInProgress"

emotion, health, humor, humor quote, mental, mental health, resilience, sarcastic, stress, together

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Onion rings? I’m answering.

0

5 months ago

answer, answering, food, humor, joke, onion, onion ring, ring, rings
Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

0

2 months ago

back, care, dental, dental care, forgetfulness, halfway, hate, humor, i, teeth
Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

0

2 months ago

adult, adulthood, being, confusion, crazy, existential, going, hell, humor, life, nonsense, reality
I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

0

2 months ago

cheaper, decision, economics, grocery, grocery store, humor, i, inside, money, purchase, shopping, store
Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

0

2 months ago

activity, both, date, dog, humor, river, style
My life is based on a true story.

0

2 months ago

comedy, humor, irony, life, self-deprecation, story, true, true story

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

24 shares on Slack this month:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

40 shares on Slack this month:

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

23 shares on Threads this month:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

48 shares on YouTube this month:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Going bananas on X:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Trending via YouTube:

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

Making waves on WeChat:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Going viral on Twitch:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Live now on Slack:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

Spotted on Slack:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

My life is based on a true story.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨