Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,907

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Trending via TikTok:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Trending via Facebook:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Making waves on Reddit:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Shared recently on TikTok:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Nine months and you go with Chet? I'm naming my next plant after this marathon! 🍼🤔😂

baby, baby name, carrying, humor, insane, insanity, month, months, name, naming, nine, nine month, parenthood, pregnancy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

1 month ago
advice, bad, dentist, drink, eat, food, health, humor, name, should, teeth, toothpaste, water
I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

1 month ago
black, exercise, fashion, fitness, humor, i, joke, slimming, style, wear
My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

1 month ago
2, after, awkwardness, forgetting, interaction, me, memory, move, name, seconds, signature, signature move, social, social interaction, tell
When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

1 month ago
better, humor, living, longing, much, music, nostalgia, past, people, sarcasm, say, stop, thought, turn
I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

2 months ago
clean, cleanliness, couch, disgusted, disgusted stare, hate, home, house, humor, i, laziness, messy, messy house, procrastination, relax, stare
You’re my least favourite notification.

1 month ago
communication, digital, digital communication, favourite, humor, least, least favourite, message, notification, sarcasm, text, text message

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

Trending via Reddit:

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Breaking via TikTok:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

You’re my least favourite notification.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

You’re my least favourite notification.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏