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🤣🔥 Caveman: "I just invented the wheel!" 🎉 Journalist: "Hold my pen, I've got some hot takes on why the wheel is bad for humanity. Spoiler alert: it doesn't have good mileage!" 🙈 #StoneAgeHotTakes

bad, caveman, critique, humanity, humor, i, invention, journalist, just, progress, satire, wheel

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Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

1 month ago
children, cold, example, giving, humor, kids, me, parenting
I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

1 month ago
actually, age, am, compliment, great, humor, i, just, looks, me, older, people, start, tell
Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

3 months ago
anxiety, curiosity, explode, explosion, Google, googled, humor, just, mental, mental state, state, sun
Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

1 month ago
being, birthday, day, disappointment, ever, every, excited, excitement, expectation, girl, girls, hell, personal, personal hell, too, worst, worst day
“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

1 month ago
baking, cooking, food, honesty, humor, i, love, spoon
As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

1 month ago
bedtime, confused, confusion, daytime, humor, i, leisure, lifestyle, pajamas, retiree, sometimes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

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When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

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If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

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The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Shared recently on Twitch:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Live now on Pinterest:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

Just shared via Telegram:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Going viral on WeChat:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

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Activity Log ✨

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

It was me, I let the dogs out.

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

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Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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