Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,411

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Spreading quickly via X:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

Trending via TikTok:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Trending via Threads:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
The bullet is now in a witness protection program! 😅🔫🕶️

bullet, chuck, Chuck Norris, condition, critical, critical condition, got, guy, humor, joke, norris, shot, tough, tough guy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

0

2 months ago

advice, date, each other, else, humor, relationship, sleep, someone
Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

0

2 months ago

baby, ever, job, serious, snitch, work
Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

0

2 months ago

distraction, fun, louder, mood, music, play, thoughts
Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

0

2 months ago

common, common sense, food, fry, girl, humor, just, never, relationship, sense, snack
Drilling for oil is well boring.

0

2 months ago

boring, drilling, humor, industry, joke, oil, pun, well, work
Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

0

4 weeks ago

allowed, bot, bots, call, dear, greeting, humor, me, message, Nigeria, only, scam

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

98 shares on X this month:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

52 shares on Slack this month:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

69 shares on X this month:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

42 shares on Slack this month:

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

23 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Just shared via X:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Seen just now on Telegram:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

Trending via Threads:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Trending via Reddit:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Trending via Slack:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Trending via YouTube:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Going viral on Facebook:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨