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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,497

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Just shared via X:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Breaking via Facebook:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Live now on YouTube:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Trending via Instagram:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like caffeine has met its match—initiating survival cardio mode! ☕️🏃‍♂️💀

adventure, chaotic, chaotic morning, coffee, craving, cut, exaggerated, exaggerated craving, humor, i, machete, maniac, morning, need, relief, stress, stress relief, through, today, woods

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

0

2 months ago

age, humor, i, imagination, memory, never, nostalgia, perception, reality, remember, things, where
I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

0

2 months ago

angel, chat, coordination, fate, future, future husband, group, group chat, guardian, guardian angel, humor, husband, i, love, relationship, trying, wonder
If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

0

2 months ago

cause, confusion, cousin, family, gatherings, humor, interaction, lot, parents, party, partying, relationship, sibling, social, social interaction
Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

0

3 months ago

40s, aging, frustration, guest, hair, here, humor, looks, pissed, shows, uninvited, uninvited guest, welcome, where
I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

0

2 months ago

around, crisis, crow, fly, goth, hell, humor, i, identity, identity crisis, looking, office, people, people skill, retribution, seeking, skill, skills, work
But that was my emotional support daylight.

0

2 months ago

daylight, emotional, emotional support, humor, light, support

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on WeChat this month:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

30 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

33 shares on X this month:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

19 shares on X this month:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Going bananas on Facebook:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Going viral on Telegram:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Making waves on Instagram:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Just shared via YouTube:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Going viral on WeChat:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Going bananas on Instagram:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Breaking via X:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨