Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,328

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Just shared via Messenger:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Spotted on Facebook:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Seen just now on X:

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

Just shared via Instagram:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Just shared via Facebook:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Spotted on Messenger:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who do I talk to about making this a law? ☕️💼✨ #CaffeineRights #PerkMeUp"

caffeine, coffee, everyone, free, Friday, humor, joke, Monday, satire, should, through, workday

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

0

2 months ago

advice, drugs, humor, illegal, illegal substance, personal, personal property, property, substance, take, warning
The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

0

4 months ago

buy, coming, humor, hyperfixation, impulse, impulse buy, looking, merch, need, regret, shopping, sobering, sobering up, worst
You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

0

2 months ago

before, breath, deep, deep breath, dumb, ever, humor, met, responding, someone, take
They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

0

2 months ago

care, dental, dental care, dental floss, floss, foot, humor, invention, know, last, last foot, practicality, red, run, run out, should
Social media may have been a mistake.

0

2 months ago

age, digital, digital age, humor, irony, life, media, mistake, online, online life, social, social media, technology
I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

0

2 months ago

being, bet, feels, full, good, i, moon

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Slack this month:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

75 shares on TikTok this month:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

72 shares on Messenger this month:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

91 shares on Discord this month:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Making waves on Discord:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Making waves on X:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Just landed via Reddit:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Trending via Reddit:

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

Breaking via Threads:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Social media may have been a mistake.

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨