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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Trending via Facebook:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Seen just now on Facebook:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Just landed via Reddit:

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

Seen just now on Slack:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Just shared via Reddit:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Seen just now on WeChat:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

Live now on Threads:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Seen just now on Threads:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

4 weeks ago

Funny quote about how afternoon naps seem to pick us rather than us choosing them.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the mysterious allure of the afternoon nap 🛌💤 It's like a siren song that beckons us into the land of sweet slumber, whether we intended to go there or not. Resistance is futile when the nap gods have spoken! 😂 #NapLife"

afternoon, belief, believe, choice, choose, humor, irony, nap, naps, relaxation, sleep, us

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Reddit this month:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

36 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

39 shares on Threads this month:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Really hate when I’m watching a movie, and I can see that they are acting.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,497

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I’m starting to understand the distant uncle.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Been getting really into nothing.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Going bananas on X:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Going viral on Reddit:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

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