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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ป has viewed:

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ has viewed:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ป has viewed:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ด has copied:

A girl was coming over till she wasnโ€™tโ€”thatโ€™s what happened.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has viewed:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ has bookmarked:

Your secret is safe with me because I donโ€™t care.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

Whenever Iโ€™m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ถ has shared:

Elliott didnโ€™t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has downloaded:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต has shared:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,472

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: itโ€™s the hard way or the harder way.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Going viral on TikTok:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Going viral on Threads:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Doomscrolling: because who doesnโ€™t love anxiety as a hobby?

Just landed via X:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Trending via Discord:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess Iโ€™ll dress up for my romantic interview.

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Dates are weird, like, okay I guess Iโ€™ll dress up for my romantic interview.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the infamous romantic interview – where awkward small talk meets the delicate dance of not spilling pasta sauce on yourself ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ Who knew finding love could feel like a job interview in fancy clothes? #DressToImpressOrElse"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

Social Media Stars โญ

53 shares on Twitch this month:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

41 shares on X this month:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

Thatโ€™s not fat. Itโ€™s bonus content.

45 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

13 shares on X this month:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

49 shares on X this month:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

25 shares on X this month:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Why are plane tickets so expensive? Youโ€™re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,567

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has shared:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ has downloaded:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ธ has bookmarked:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ผ has viewed:

Doomscrolling: because who doesnโ€™t love anxiety as a hobby?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Thereโ€™s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has copied:

I donโ€™t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has downloaded:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Freshly posted on Slack:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Just shared via YouTube:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Seen just now on Discord:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, hereโ€™s Wonderwall.

Live now on WhatsApp:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

Seen just now on TikTok:

โ€œApple Music has better sound quality!โ€ Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Just shared via Slack:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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