Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,308

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Making waves on TikTok:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

Making waves on WeChat:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a slow day at the office! 😂🙄📚

death, exaggeration, frustration, humor, question, questions, sarcasm, stupid

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

0

2 months ago

actor, actors, chaos, daily, daily life, feel, fresh, humor, humorous, humorous observation, life, observation, people, sitcom, unpaid, unpaid actor
I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

0

2 months ago

came, enjoy, heat, humor, ID, lot, me, mist, produce, refreshment, someone, summer
If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

0

2 months ago

actually, creature, humor, joke, mythical, mythical creature, pun, realize, supernatural, transformation, unawarewolf, werewolf
8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

0

2 months ago

country, dating, humor, island, loneliness, people, person, planet, relationship, sea, single
The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

0

2 months ago

existence, humor, medium, raw, sex, sexuality, well-done
I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

0

2 months ago

bowel, health, humor, i, irritable, relatable, syndrome, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on TikTok this month:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

95 shares on X this month:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

13 shares on X this month:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

66 shares on WeChat this month:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

36 shares on Slack this month:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Making waves on Instagram:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

Live now on Facebook:

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

Just shared via TikTok:

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

Going viral on Facebook:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Making waves on Twitch:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Just shared via TikTok:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Going viral on Reddit:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨