Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Deleting tweets with the same level of dramatic flair as a writer setting fire to their unpublished works – a digital bonfire of regret and reconsideration."

burn, burn manuscript, creativity, deleting, deleting tweet, humor, manuscript, media, self-editing, social, social media, tweet, Twitter, writer

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

0

2 months ago

birth, control, Crocs, fashion, fashion joke, footwear, free, humor, humor joke, joke, male, male birth control, socks
Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

0

4 months ago

authenticity, care, decision, doing, else, everything, feels, humor, intuition, letting, life, life skill, mindset, only, right, self, self-care, skill, underrated
If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

0

6 months ago

am, demise, escape, humor, i, plotting, quiet, sarcasm, threat, witty
Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

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2 months ago

advice, bed, behavior, both, doctor, family, health, health advice, humor, instinct, jumping, jumping on the bed, know, live, monkey, monkey instinct, playful, playful behavior, said, wife
Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

0

2 months ago

analogy, box, eaten, eating, humor, once, packaging, pizza, pizza slice, round, shape, slice, square, square box, triangle, understand, understanding, why, women
If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

0

2 months ago

account, Airbnb, behavior, doing, humor, media, mischief, out-of-character, personality, rent, rental, social, social media, wild, wild behavior

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on TikTok this month:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

39 shares on Slack this month:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Hair is unwashed, so I obviously feel like I’m fundamentally unlovable.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Going viral on Instagram:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Live now on Telegram:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Just landed via Twitch:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Making waves on Threads:

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

Going viral on Slack:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨