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Commentary:
"Dentist appointments feel like a strange blind date – except instead of a romantic dinner, it's a root canal 😬🦷 Let's hope they don't find any skeletons in your closet… I mean, your mouth! 😂"

appointments, around, awkward, bit, dentist, humor, meet, mouth, nice, root, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

0

2 months ago

dress, expression, fashion, gender, humor, i, individuality, men, style, weather, women
Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

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2 months ago

chaos, comparison, floor, humor, kind, observation, oh, parenting, politician, politicians, shout, sometimes, stuff, throw, toddler
I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

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2 months ago

comedy, dramatic, frustration, humor, i, life, restart, restarting, routine, ruining, stress, want, week, work, work week
Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

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2 months ago

again, airport, arrival, being, early, early arrival, flight, frustration, hours, humor, i, management, minutes, once, only, scam, security, take, time, time management, travel
Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

0

2 months ago

conversation, feeling, guilt, guilty, humor, myself, personal, reflection, self, session, taking, talking, therapy
You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

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2 months ago

activity, camping, convenience, dirt, floor, home, humor, leave, let, nature, outdoor, outdoor activity, shower, squirrels, stay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on TikTok this month:

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

56 shares on Discord this month:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

38 shares on X this month:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I can shake your hand and forget your name simultaneously.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Spotted on Snapchat:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Trending via Snapchat:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Seen just now on YouTube:

You’re never too old to shout, “Mooooo,” when you drive past some cows.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨