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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,614

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Live now on Messenger:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Making waves on Telegram:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Spotted on Reddit:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

Just landed via X:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Just landed via WeChat:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
My interest is now piqued, and just like my eyebrows, it's staying raised! 🤨😂

curiosity, expression, humor, interest, just, phrase, sarcasm, seriously, surprise

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

0

2 months ago

grudge, high, high school, hold, humor, i, mad, most, nostalgia, personality, school, still, voted
If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

0

2 months ago

attitude, confidence, dance, dance move, doing, dropping, fun, hell, hot, humor, lifestyle, move, party
Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

0

3 months ago

apology, busy, emotion, excuse, humor, i, personal, sarcasm, sorry, taking, things, tonight
My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

0

2 months ago

communication, dating, headphones, hear, humor, i, interaction, men, move, relationship, signature, signature move, social, social interaction, tell
Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

0

2 months ago

around, awkwardness, casual, casual interaction, contact, crazy, everyday, everyday life, eye, eye contact, humor, humorous, humorous observation, interaction, just, let, life, making, me, observation, saying, self-awareness, sidewalk, social, social awkwardness, strangers, walk
All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

0

5 months ago

bra, bras, clothing, fashion, humor, need, problem, recall, shopping, strapless, strapless bra, taken, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

38 shares on Threads this month:

Twitter is basically introverts gone wild.

27 shares on X this month:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

80 shares on Threads this month:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Seen just now on Discord:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Shared recently on WeChat:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Spotted on Instagram:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Shared recently on Threads:

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨