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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,468

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Freshly posted on X:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Spotted on Threads:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

2 months ago

0

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the good ol' days of family computing – where sibling squabbles and parental patience were put to the test over who got to use the PC next! 💻👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 It was a time when we learned the art of negotiation and compromise, all while navigating the treacherous waters of dial-up internet. Good times, good times! 😄 #ThrowbackThursday #FamilyTechWars

childhood, computer, desktop, family, guys, memory, nostalgia, remember, share, technology, whole

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

0

4 months ago

around, everyone, guide, humor, i, job, joke, just, knowing, knowledge, love, me, need, only, think, tour, tour guide, travel, walking
You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

0

2 months ago

arrest, couple, couple days, days, ever, house, house arrest, humor, isolation, mood, put, self-imposed, weird, weird mood, yourself
I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

0

2 months ago

am, ask, communication, function, hate, humor, i, interaction, introvert, me, much, others, people, personality, quiet, rude, rudeness, social, social interaction, talk, talking, why
You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

0

2 months ago

angry, angry man, estate, happiness, having, home, home value, humor, know, man, positivity, real, real estate, relationship, value
I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

0

2 months ago

clarity, communication, explain, humor, i, much, over-explainer, personality, self-awareness, things, too
“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

0

2 months ago

activity, changes, close, concert, days, fun, humor, i, life, life changes, music, nostalgia, should, tickets

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

46 shares on Twitch this month:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

19 shares on Slack this month:

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Half princess, half menace.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,432

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Just landed via YouTube:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Trending via X:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Making waves on Threads:

Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

Seen just now on TikTok:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Just shared via TikTok:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Breaking via Instagram:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Just shared via Discord:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

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