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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

759 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,921

Funny Quotes Topics

13,890

Funny Quotes Images

10,921

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on LinkedIn:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Just shared via Telegram:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Seen just now on Discord:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Trending via Pinterest:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

Just shared via Messenger:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Just landed via Twitch:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.
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Commentary:
Half semicolon, half ninja; 100% punctuation warrior! 🥷;😄

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

759 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,921

Funny Quotes Topics

13,890

Funny Quotes Images

10,921

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Freshly posted on Discord:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Trending via Discord:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Making waves on X:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Making waves on Discord:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Reported on YouTube:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

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