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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,385

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

Just shared via YouTube:

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m not lazy, I’m just highly selective about what I suffer for.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Trending via WeChat:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Going bananas on Discord:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Witty text about self-esteem, humorously suggesting everyone outshines you.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember, comparing yourself to others is a surefire way to feel inadequate. Embrace your unique awesomeness and shine bright like the star you are! 🌟💁‍♂️ #JustBeYou"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

41 shares on Slack this month:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

39 shares on YouTube this month:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

88 shares on Discord this month:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Cheating on an exam by memorizing all the content beforehand so I can easily answer the questions.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,269

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Just shared via TikTok:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Spotted on Discord:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Trending via Threads:

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Spreading quickly via X:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

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