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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,518

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Trending via WeChat:

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

Trending via Snapchat:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Going viral on Reddit:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Just landed via Discord:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

Just shared via Messenger:

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

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Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.
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Commentary:
"Feeling optimistic? 🌟 Don't worry, life has a surplus of surprises lined up just for you! 🎁 Remember, disappointment is just another way of life saying 'plot twist'! 🔄 Keep marching on, your next letdown could be just around the corner! 🚶‍♂️💔"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

65 shares on Discord this month:

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

13 shares on Instagram this month:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,507

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

My parents think they know me.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Live now on Facebook:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Going viral on Slack:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

Making waves on Twitch:

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

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