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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Labubu?! Sounds like a name picked mid-sneeze!

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,550

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Just landed via Discord:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Spotted on Discord:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Just landed via Twitch:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

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Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.
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Commentary:
"Feeling optimistic? 🌟 Don't worry, life has a surplus of surprises lined up just for you! 🎁 Remember, disappointment is just another way of life saying 'plot twist'! 🔄 Keep marching on, your next letdown could be just around the corner! 🚶‍♂️💔"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Twitch this month:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

30 shares on X this month:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

49 shares on Reddit this month:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My problem is, I wanna be the only one at the gym when I go.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,366

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I hate when someone on a magazine cover stares at me while I eat.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Spotted on Slack:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Spotted on X:

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

Breaking via Reddit:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Spotted on Telegram:

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

Live now on Threads:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

Going viral on Reddit:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Just shared via Telegram:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

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