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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Shared recently on Discord:

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Shared recently on Instagram:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Just landed via Messenger:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Just shared via Discord:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Making waves on Messenger:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Shared recently on Threads:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

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Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.
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Commentary:
"Feeling optimistic? 🌟 Don't worry, life has a surplus of surprises lined up just for you! 🎁 Remember, disappointment is just another way of life saying 'plot twist'! 🔄 Keep marching on, your next letdown could be just around the corner! 🚶‍♂️💔"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

31 shares on X this month:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

21 shares on Slack this month:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

17 shares on Slack this month:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,506

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Going viral on Instagram:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Just landed via Slack:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Just shared via Facebook:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Going viral on Twitch:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Live now on Telegram:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

Just landed via X:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Making waves on Twitch:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Going viral on Threads:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

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