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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,689

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Just landed via TikTok:

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Going viral on Discord:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Just landed via X:

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Just landed via Instagram:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

Going viral on Twitch:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote comparing "hot honey" to pickleball as a humorous condiment jab.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Hot honey is to foodies what pickleball is to sports fans – everyone won't stop talking about it but I'm still confused 🍯🏓🤔"

comparison, condiment, derogatory, explain, food, food humor, funny comparison, honey, hot, hot honey, humor, know, pickleball, slang

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

16 hours ago

ask, depot, funny moment, high, home, Home Depot, hose, humor, i, know, laugh, moment, right, shopping, where
You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

2 weeks ago

attraction, cartoon, give, Goofy, humor, hyuck, i, love, weird
People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

2 days ago

animal, awareness, casual, communication, fact, humor, parrot, people, talk, too
When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

1 week ago

advice, am, culture, humor, i, Jedi, man, me, men, older, older man, pop, pop culture, say, talking, teachings, tell, wisdom, Yoda
I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

31 minutes ago

1986, bad, commitment, day, fashion, feel, Goofy, goofy hat, hat, humor, i, joke, lifelong, lifelong wear, sarcasm, Slash, style, wear
Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

1 week ago

activity, coconut, creativity, drink, fun, fun activity, humor, i, lime, lyric, party, put, song, song lyric, tropical

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Slack this month:

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

Meow means woof in cat.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

39 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

The government even made aliens boring.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Just landed via Snapchat:

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

Just shared via Threads:

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

Just landed via Instagram:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Trending via Instagram:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Going viral on Telegram:

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Keep the laugh going 😂

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨