Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,570

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Just landed via Discord:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Going viral on X:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Going viral on YouTube:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

Trending via Discord:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Just shared via Facebook:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Shared recently on Discord:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Seen just now on Telegram:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

Freshly posted on Threads:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Hot honey is to foodies what pickleball is to sports fans – everyone won't stop talking about it but I'm still confused 🍯🏓🤔"

comparison, condiment, derogatory, explain, food, food humor, funny comparison, honey, hot, hot honey, humor, know, pickleball, slang

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, lot, online, people, prison
Feeling like a bug without his rug.

0

2 months ago

analogy, bug, comfort, expression, feeling, humor, rug
I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

0

2 months ago

50, biology, body, bones, cells, energy, humor, i, morning, muscles, sleep, time, wake, wake up
Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

0

2 months ago

adventure, app, apps, dating, dating app, deleting, donkey, dragon, fantasy, fashioned, humor, i, me, meet, old, old fashioned, rescue, romantic, romantic fantasy, someone, tower, want
I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

0

6 months ago

disappearing, dream, escape, humor, i, nature, technology, Wi-Fi, wifi, woods
Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

0

2 months ago

addiction, addiction humor, break, break time, breaks, cook, every, gambling, give, hour, humor, i, job, job break, jobs, minutes, only, parlay, should, smoking, time, why, work, work humor

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on YouTube this month:

Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear them say, ‘What the hell are you doing?’

78 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

63 shares on Discord this month:

Do you think Yoda says “7-6” instead?

50 shares on Messenger this month:

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

53 shares on Threads this month:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Just shared via Threads:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Just shared via Reddit:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Seen just now on Threads:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

Making waves on YouTube:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Going bananas on Discord:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨