Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
When someone says "Don't let me keep you!" what they actually mean is "Please exit the premises immediately, I beg of you! 🚪💨" Just remember, polite language can sometimes hide savage intentions! 😂 #ReadingBetweenTheLines

communication, cue, humor, invitation, keep, let, me, polite, sarcasm, social, social cue, translation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

4 weeks ago

Beyoncé, britney, celebrity, expense, financial, humor, income, money
I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

4 weeks ago

activity, dating, fun, fun activity, health, hope, i, laid, mental, mental health, own, relationships, soon
Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

1 month ago

hate, humor, me, money, sarcasm, throw
Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

1 month ago

discover, discovery, entertainment, even, humor, imagine, movie, Netflix, parent, parents, surprise
My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

1 month ago

am, ceiling, daily, daily struggle, debating, humor, i, live, living, minutes, morning, morning routine, need, procrastination, routine, staring, struggle, thinking, tired, today
I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

4 weeks ago

age, am, back, daily, daily habit, day, every, front, habit, humor, i, newspaper, old, read, reading, single

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on YouTube this month:

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

36 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

87 shares on X this month:

Taking a walk: The most effective debugging tool.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Spotted on WeChat:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Going bananas on Reddit:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Spotted on Threads:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Just landed via YouTube:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Just shared via Reddit:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Just landed via Twitch:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨