Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I would like even faster food.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,369

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Breaking via Reddit:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Making waves on WeChat:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

Going viral on Facebook:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Spotted on WeChat:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Just landed via Threads:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When he enters the room, even the paint dries faster! 🎨😴

boredom, boring, dating, dude, ghosting, humor, left, media, personality, social, social media, swipe, swipe left

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

0

2 months ago

1980s, 1980s culture, 80s, ALF, culture, drug, drug humor, drugs, high, humor, nostalgic, parody, sitcom, vintage
The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

0

2 months ago

children, cleaning, home, husband, kids
Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

0

2 months ago

changing, dating, give, give up, humor, humor quote, i, joke, relationship, relationship status, single, status
If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

0

3 months ago

attitude, communication, finding, humor, i, me, offensive, quit, sarcasm
There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

0

2 months ago

back, card, humor, relaxation, return, sympathy, sympathy card, vacation, work, workplace
Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

0

5 months ago

anxiety, embarrassing, embarrassment, health, humor, mental, mental health, night, night shift, nightmare, nightmares, shift, sleep, stress, why, working

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

48 shares on Threads this month:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

54 shares on Slack this month:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

74 shares on Discord this month:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Trending via YouTube:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

Spotted on X:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Just landed via X:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Shared recently on Discord:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Going viral on Messenger:

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

Just landed via Slack:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨