Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Breaking news: I've decided to ditch the rat race and embrace my inner plant 🌿💰 Photosynthesis, here I come! Who needs money when you've got sunlight, am I right? 😜 #PlantLife"

creativity, due, financial, financial reasons, humor, i, joke, money, nature, photosynthesis, reasons, sustainability

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Of all the ways to be miserable, marriage is the most expensive.

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2 days ago

expense, expensive, humor, marriage, miserable, misery, most, relationship, ways
Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

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5 months ago

2, car, driving, gangsta’s, Gangsta’s Paradise, hand, hand position, hands, home, humor, listening, music, nostalgia, paradise, position, road, road safety, safety, song
Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

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2 months ago

appearance, done, good, good heart, having, heart, irony, kindness, me, nothing, self-reflection, stupid
Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

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2 months ago

being, bills, carefree, dinosaur, drama, extinct, humor, imagine, just, simplicity, work
First World War. Kind of nervous.

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2 months ago

first world war, history, humor, joke, kind, nervous, war, world
Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

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2 months ago

end, harsh, humor, let, lighthearted, lol, me, put, sarcasm

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Facebook this month:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

83 shares on X this month:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

17 shares on Slack this month:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

91 shares on Slack this month:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Shared recently on Twitch:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Breaking via WeChat:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

Going viral on WeChat:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Going viral on Slack:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Spreading quickly via X:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Trending via TikTok:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Of all the ways to be miserable, marriage is the most expensive.

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨