Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.