Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • (Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?
  • I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”
  • At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.
  • “Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.
  • I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.
  • If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.