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Commentary:
"Maybe vampires started the whole 'vampires hate garlic' rumor just to get us humans to season ourselves better! 🧛‍♂️🧄 Next time you reach for that garlic, just remember you might be preparing yourself as a tasty snack for Dracula!"

cooking, ever, food, garlic, here, humor, irony, joke, just, lie, myth, seasoning, think, vampire

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

1 month ago
dating, dating profile, ex, good, guys, humor, photo, pics, picture, profile, profile picture, profiles, relationship
They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

1 month ago
charge, expenses, eyes, grocery, humor, money, observation, open, paper, poop, reality, toilet, toilet paper, turn
I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

1 month ago
crazy, fun, humor, just, mentally, personality, self-description, spicy
An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

1 month ago
career, education, exist, future, future job, generation, job, jobs, study, studying, technology, unemployment, workforce
The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

1 month ago
biting, diet, humor, idiot, idiots, just, sarcasm, tongue
Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

1 month ago
being, date, dating, fun, going, hard, humor, i, just, me, much, personality, relationship, self-love

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

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Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

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Just shared via YouTube:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Shared recently on WeChat:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Just shared via Facebook:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Shared recently on Twitch:

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

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Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

I forgot how to panic. Help!

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

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Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

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