Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

What is it called when you were overthinking, and it turns out you were right?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

354 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,623

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,623

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,320

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m an ethical hater. My hate towards you is informed, balanced, and deeply nuanced.

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like every marriage is its own comedy show, featuring one superstar and one financial wizard! 🤹‍♂️💼

every, hire, humor, insurance, knows, marriage, personality, relationship, someone, works

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

5 months ago

aspiration, being, confidence, cute, going, humor, me, rich, self-love, wealth
Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

1 month ago

clothing, exist, fashion, humor, occasion, shopping, style, Zara
Girls are perverts when they like you.

2 months ago

attraction, flirting, girl, girls, humor, pervert, relationship
I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

3 months ago

bad, family, humor, i, love, magic, man, me, obsession, relationship, want, witchcraft
I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

3 months ago

birthday, cake, celebration, eat, excuse, food, fun, humor, i, indulgence
Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

2 months ago

alike, great, humor, irony, mind, minds, stupid, think, wisdom

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Twitch this month:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Spotted on Messenger:

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

Spotted on X:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Making waves on Messenger:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

Spotted on Threads:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

Seen just now on X:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

Going viral on Telegram:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Just shared via Threads:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Girls are perverts when they like you.

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨