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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ถ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ผ has copied:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡จ has shared:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

I hate when people ask me, โ€œWhat did you do today?โ€ Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I donโ€™t know.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

Donโ€™t be sad, laundry, nobodyโ€™s doing me either.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡จ has bookmarked:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ has shared:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

1787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,949

Funny Quotes Topics

14,756

Funny Quotes Images

11,949

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just landed via Slack:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

Broadcasted on Threads:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Just landed via Messenger:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Just shared via WeChat:

So many true crime podcasts are just like โ€œa young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questionedโ€

Just shared via Snapchat:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

Spotted on X:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Just shared via Messenger:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Reported on WeChat:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Just shared via Reddit:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Looks like Microsoft Teams is not just decreasing productivity, but also decreasing manliness! ๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ’ผ Watch out for those invites, guys – your testosterone levels might take a hit! ๐Ÿ˜‚ #TechProblems"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

1787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,949

Funny Quotes Topics

14,756

Funny Quotes Images

11,949

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ญ has viewed:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฏ has copied:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Trending via WeChat:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Just landed via Snapchat:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Seen just now on Messenger:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Breaking via Messenger:

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

Making waves on WeChat:

โ€œSo, what are your hobbies?โ€ Oh, I canโ€™t afford any.

Making waves on Messenger:

Everyoneโ€™s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

Trending via Facebook:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

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