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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Had a shower and put on clean pajamas. It was a productive day.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

Just landed via Telegram:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Seen just now on X:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Making waves on Discord:

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

Making waves on TikTok:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

Trending via YouTube:

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

Spotted on Telegram:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Going bananas on X:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

2 weeks ago

Witty quote about unseen struggles and Fight Club's first rule, humorous and thought-provoking.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember, the first rule of Fight Club is that everybody is fighting a battle you don't know about! So next time someone cuts you off in traffic or steals the last slice of pizza, just give them a knowing wink 😉🥊 #BattleOfTheEveryday"

battle, challenges, club, conflict, fight, fight club, fighting, humor, know, life, life challenges, rule, rules, secrecy, struggles

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Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

My favourite animal is me when I have money.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

30 shares on Discord this month:

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

33 shares on X this month:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to hell in every religion.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,427

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Trending via Telegram:

Sausage might clog my arteries, but it lubricates my soul.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Making waves on Instagram:

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

Just shared via Instagram:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Making waves on WeChat:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

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