Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,875

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Making waves on Messenger:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

Just shared via Messenger:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Just landed via TikTok:

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Going viral on Discord:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Going bananas on Discord:

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Going viral on Threads:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Going viral on X:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When Uncle starts his electrifying tales, I just grab a mashed potato shield and hope for the best ⚡️🛡️🥔

attack, bolt, dinner, dinner table, family, family dinner, funny attack, holiday, holiday meal, lightning, lightning bolt, meal, table, Thanksgiving, uncle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

0

1 month ago

40s, adult, adult life, aging, hangover, humor, hungover, just, life, Tuesday, welcome
It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

0

2 months ago

alarm, day, first day, important, kids, parenting, remember, reminder, responsibility, school
After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

0

2 months ago

clarity, conclusion, deliberation, humor, introspection, overthinker, self-reflection, thinking
January is the Monday of the year.

0

1 month ago

comparison, humor, January, Monday, new, new year, seasons, time, winter, year
I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

0

1 month ago

after, gone, herd, herd mentality, humor, i, media, mentality, opinion, opinions, political, politics, post, satire, selfie, social, social media, sure, viral
My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

0

1 month ago

am, computer, doing, good, heat, humor, i, job, joke, laptop, multitasking, overheating, productivity, tech, tech joke, technology, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

24 shares on Reddit this month:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

17 shares on Threads this month:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

51 shares on Threads this month:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

Seen just now on Messenger:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Going viral on X:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Just shared via Discord:

I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Going viral on Snapchat:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Trending via Messenger:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

January is the Monday of the year.

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨