Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,657

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

Shared recently on Slack:

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Just landed via X:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Just landed via YouTube:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

Trending via Threads:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you flirt out of boredom, you might end up with more drama than a soap opera 📺🤦‍♀️💌

back, bored, boredom, flirting, humor, interaction, relationship, situation, situations, social, social interaction, unwanted, unwanted situation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

0

2 months ago

activity, days, exhaustion, extreme, extreme sport, going, going out, humor, life, row, should, social, social life, sport, weekend
Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

0

2 months ago

bride, guest, humor, marriage, relationship, threat, veiled, veiled threat, wedding, wedding guest, wife
I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

0

2 months ago

choice, hate, honesty, humor, i, interaction, nice, people, self-deprecation, social, social interaction, ugly
You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

0

2 months ago

English, getting, know, old, shows, watch
Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

0

2 months ago

biter, hug, humor, interaction, joke, me, next, reaction, sarcasm, say, social, social interaction, someone, time
Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

0

2 months ago

advice, anyone, confusion, General, general knowledge, help, know, knowledge, question, uncertainty

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on TikTok this month:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Trending via WeChat:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Trending via Telegram:

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

Spotted on Discord:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Making waves on WeChat:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Just shared via TikTok:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Just landed via Telegram:

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨