“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

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You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

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I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

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Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

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Like most people my age, I’m 50.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

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Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

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Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

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Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

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Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.