Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who knew doing the dishes could turn into a way more exciting task 🍽️🔫 Some might say this method adds a whole new level of 'dish cleaning' efficiency! 💥😄 #InnovativeHousekeeping"

clean, cleaning, dishes, forget, forgetting, frustration, gun, household, humor, shooting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

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2 days ago

citrus, citrus fruit, cut, encounter, exaggeration, excellent, fingernail, fruit, high, humor, i, injury, me, number, send, under, universe
I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

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2 months ago

actually, couch, exercise, humor, i, laziness, me, procrastination, protection, under, workout
I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

0

2 months ago

age, humor, life, phone, technology, upgrade, where, working
Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

0

2 months ago

animal, encouragement, every, horse, horses, humor, i, motivation, perseverance, quit, remember, stop, time
Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

0

2 months ago

bit, blowing, blowing up, humor, joke, just, nobody, self-destruction, should, technology, Tesla, wait
I’m sick of living through history!

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2 months ago

frustration, history, humor, living, satire, sick, through

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

65 shares on Slack this month:

“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

90 shares on Messenger this month:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

First responders? You mean reply guys?

53 shares on Threads this month:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

21 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

21 shares on Discord this month:

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

Going viral on Messenger:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Making waves on Threads:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Freshly posted on X:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Spotted on Twitch:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

I’m sick of living through history!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨