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Commentary:
"Who needs casual hookups when you can secure a job instead? 😂👔 Let's just hope this 'Friendship with Benefits' doesn't come with awkward performance reviews! 🤞💼 #NetworkingStrategy"

benefits, connection, father, friends, getting, humor, internship, job, me, network, opportunity, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

0

2 months ago

another, contradiction, humor, irony, me, nightmare, peace, personality, self, worst
Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

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4 months ago

appetizer, asleep, bedtime, before, couch, fall, i, joke, little, nap, sleep, sometimes, wordplay
“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

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2 months ago

Christmas, disbelief, humor, i, joke, just, mall, okay, real, reality, Santa, saw, surprise
People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

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4 weeks ago

food, give, humor, importance, important, me, people, pickle, sharing
Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

0

2 months ago

affection, annoying, heart, humor, love, media, online, online persona, persona, relationship, social, social media
Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

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5 months ago

advice, cool, disappointment, expectation, humor, interaction, people, personality, recipe, social, social interaction, stop

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on WeChat this month:

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

81 shares on Slack this month:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

94 shares on X this month:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

23 shares on Slack this month:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

Going viral on X:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Shared recently on TikTok:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Live now on Reddit:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Going viral on Discord:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Making waves on Facebook:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Going bananas on TikTok:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨