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Commentary:
"Who needs casual hookups when you can secure a job instead? 😂👔 Let's just hope this 'Friendship with Benefits' doesn't come with awkward performance reviews! 🤞💼 #NetworkingStrategy"

benefits, connection, father, friends, getting, humor, internship, job, me, network, opportunity, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

0

5 months ago

blame, i, nickname, rule, Teletubby, work
This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

0

1 month ago

ask, dinner, family, family dinner, holiday, humor, just, life, mashed, mashed potato, me, pass, potato, question, questions, Thanksgiving
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

0

2 months ago

annoy, commitment, humor, life, love, marriage, person, relationship, special, special person
Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

0

2 months ago

annoying, humor, me, people, relationship, self-deprecation, sex, too, wanted, weight, yes
A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

0

2 months ago

college, college education, education, expectation, financial, financial investment, humor, investment, irony, life, not get, pay, person, student, student life
Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

0

2 months ago

even, humor, mall, observation, society, trip, zoo

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Instagram this month:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

54 shares on Threads this month:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

74 shares on Reddit this month:

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

73 shares on Discord this month:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

74 shares on X this month:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Half princess, half menace.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then I’ll be super fun, I promise—1-2 years at most.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Going bananas on WeChat:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Going viral on TikTok:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

Live now on YouTube:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Trending via WhatsApp:

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨