Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

355 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,624

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,624

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,502

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Shared recently on Reddit:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Going viral on Twitch:

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

Going viral on Telegram:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Breaking via WeChat:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Trending via TikTok:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

Live now on Twitch:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

From a very young age, I knew that everyone was wrong and I was right.

5 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I always knew I was a prodigy in the field of being right! 😎🧠

age, arrogance, childhood, confidence, everyone, humor, i, opinion, perspective, right, self-awareness, truth, wrong, young

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

2 months ago

appointments, around, awkward, bit, dentist, humor, meet, mouth, nice, root, weird
I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

2 months ago

autocorrect, frustration, hate, humor, i, language, phone, spell, spelling, texting, trying, typo, word
Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

2 months ago

confidence, forget, humor, importance, irony, motivation, overestimate, self-esteem, today
Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

2 months ago

asking, awareness, battle, conversation, drinking, empathy, every, fighting, health, humor, know, meet, nothing, person, support, water, worse
“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

2 months ago

humor, idiocy, idiot, observation, sarcasm, sky, under, weather, wit
Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

2 months ago

break, die, humor, jealousy, just, phone, rest, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on YouTube this month:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

30 shares on Slack this month:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

47 shares on Slack this month:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

What are cats even trying to do?

18 shares on YouTube this month:

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

62 shares on X this month:

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

Spotted on Discord:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Shared recently on Threads:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Going bananas on Threads:

Anyone want to meet up and just scream… We could get food after.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

Making waves on Reddit:

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

From a very young age, I knew that everyone was wrong and I was right.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨