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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Do vape shops and nail salons actually make money, or is my town’s economy one big laundering scheme?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,583

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Making waves on Reddit:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Breaking via Telegram:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Seen just now on X:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Just shared via Facebook:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Breaking via TikTok:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Trending via Twitch:

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Making waves on Threads:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
So true! My fridge turns into a food retirement home as soon as I buy groceries. 🍎🥦😂

budgeting, expiration, faster, food, food waste, fruit, grocery, humor, money, paying, shopping, vegetable, vegetables, waste

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

0

2 months ago

carrot, everything, humor, perspective, smell, smells, snowman, winter
The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

0

2 months ago

animal, concern, depressed, depression, humor, irony, lion
I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

0

2 months ago

affection, cute, gesture, hug, humor, ID, kiss, large, love, order, place, playful, relationship, romantic, romantic gesture, sweet
I’m so lucky people can’t hear what I’m thinking.

0

6 months ago

hear, humor, luck, lucky, mind, people, secret, thinking, thought
Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

0

5 days ago

2, days, family, family visit, growth, home, house, humor, life, parents, personal, personal growth, regression, visit
A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

0

5 months ago

fun, good, humor, little, mischievousness, personality, playful, soul

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

57 shares on Threads this month:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

81 shares on X this month:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

Wake me when AI does housework.

26 shares on X this month:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Going viral on X:

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

Seen just now on WeChat:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Going viral on Messenger:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Trending via Telegram:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Trending via TikTok:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

Broadcasted on X:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

I’m so lucky people can’t hear what I’m thinking.

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨