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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,594

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Breaking via Facebook:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

Just landed via Discord:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

Spotted on WeChat:

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Making waves on Slack:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Fun fact: sexual tension is more fun than the sex itself.

5 days ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text highlighting that sexual tension is more enjoyable than actual sex.

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Commentary:
Sexual tension: the only workout where your heart rate is up and you haven't even moved a muscle 😂💪❤️‍🔥

attraction, fact, fun, humor, relationship, sex, sexual, sexual tension, tension

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82 shares on X this month:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

Spotted on Slack:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Seen just now on TikTok:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

Freshly posted on X:

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Going viral on X:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Live now on YouTube:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Going viral on TikTok:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Fun fact: sexual tension is more fun than the sex itself.

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Fun fact: sexual tension is more fun than the sex itself.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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