Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,324

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Going bananas on Threads:

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Trending via Snapchat:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

Spotted on Telegram:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Fun fact: sexual tension is more fun than the sex itself.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sexual tension: the only workout where your heart rate is up and you haven't even moved a muscle 😂💪❤️‍🔥

attraction, fact, fun, humor, relationship, sex, sexual, sexual tension, tension

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

35 shares on Slack this month:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

25 shares on Slack this month:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

88 shares on Slack this month:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

90 shares on Discord this month:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

86 shares on Threads this month:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

16 shares on Telegram this month:

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

Just landed via Discord:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

Just landed via Slack:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Spotted on Facebook:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Making waves on Slack:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Making waves on Slack:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Making waves on YouTube:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Fun fact: sexual tension is more fun than the sex itself.

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Do you think Yoda says “7-6” instead?

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Fun fact: sexual tension is more fun than the sex itself.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Do you think Yoda says “7-6” instead?

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨