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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,487

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Spotted on Reddit:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Going viral on Facebook:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Trending via Threads:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

Funny $2.99 quotes

New funny $2.99 quotes 👇

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

0

2 months ago

$2.99, entertainment, frustration, humor, irony, movie, rent, service, services, streaming, streaming service, unavailable, unfortunately, want, watch

Someone from 🇵🇾 has recently bookmarked this quote.

87 shares on Discord this month.

All funny $2.99 quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Twitch this month:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

34 shares on Discord this month:

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

41 shares on X this month:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

72 shares on Threads this month:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

You look like the result of a failed CIA experiment.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

Freshly posted on Slack:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Just shared via Twitch:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Seen just now on Telegram:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny $2.99 quotes

New funny $2.99 quotes 👇

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

All funny $2.99 quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨