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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,590

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Breaking via Pinterest:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Making waves on Twitch:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Spotted on WeChat:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Making waves on WeChat:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,756

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Bugs have so many legs to make up for their lack of personality.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Going bananas on Slack:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Spotted on YouTube:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Going viral on X:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Staying weird for my own sanity.

Just landed via X:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Seen just now on X:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Making waves on WeChat:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

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