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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2415 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,577

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,577

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Spotted on X:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Going viral on WeChat:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Making waves on Pinterest:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

Spotted on X:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Just landed via X:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2415 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,577

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,577

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Spotted on Twitch:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Spotted on Reddit:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Seen just now on Threads:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Freshly posted on X:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Trending via Discord:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Trending via Pinterest:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

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