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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,295

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

Just landed via Messenger:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Just shared via Threads:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Going bananas on Messenger:

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

Live now on Messenger:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Funny airfryer quotes

New funny airfryer quotes 👇

All funny airfryer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Telegram this month:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

51 shares on Threads this month:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

58 shares on Telegram this month:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

Doc, if I can vibecode anything and everyone else can vibecode anything, then what’s my competitive advantage?

88 shares on Telegram this month:

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,279

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Just landed via Messenger:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Just landed via Facebook:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Live now on Messenger:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Live now on LinkedIn:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

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