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14 hours ago
Share →: Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

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Finding an Airfryer in your kid's room is just part of their "creative decluttering strategy" 😂🔍🍟

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

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If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

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Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

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When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

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Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

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Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

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Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

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Just shared via Snapchat:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Trending via Slack:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Going viral on Messenger:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Reported on WhatsApp:

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

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Funny airfryer quotes

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Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

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Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Shout out to myself for ruining my own life.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

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