Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,641

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Freshly posted on Slack:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Live now on TikTok:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Just landed via Messenger:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Making waves on X:

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

Going viral on Messenger:

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

Just landed via WeChat:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

Trending via Messenger:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Shared recently on Threads:

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Funny airfryer quotes

New funny airfryer quotes 👇

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

4 weeks ago

airfryer, cause, chore, cleaning, frustration, here, household, household chore, item, kid’s room, kids, parenthood, room, unexpected, unexpected item, why

All funny airfryer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on YouTube this month:

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

12 shares on X this month:

Achieving AGI by reducing the intelligence of the average human rather than increasing the intelligence of AI.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Trending via Threads:

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Breaking via Discord:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Making waves on Instagram:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Shared recently on Messenger:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Making waves on Facebook:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Just shared via TikTok:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

Spotted on Pinterest:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny airfryer quotes

New funny airfryer quotes 👇

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

All funny airfryer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨