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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,879

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Just shared via Reddit:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

Freshly posted on Instagram:

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Just landed via Instagram:

We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

Trending via Pinterest:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Just landed via Threads:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,705

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

Just shared via Twitch:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Seen just now on WeChat:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

Trending via YouTube:

I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

Just landed via Telegram:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Spotted on Instagram:

Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

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