Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,632

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Nothing ruins an introvert’s day like a 4 p.m. appointment.

Spotted on Reddit:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

Going viral on Discord:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Going viral on WeChat:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Just landed via YouTube:

I love when people say, “In college, I wrote a paper on…” as if that holds any academic merit.

Just landed via Pinterest:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

Just shared via Reddit:

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

Making waves on TikTok:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Funny ass-licking quotes

New funny ass-licking quotes 👇

All funny ass-licking quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on TikTok this month:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

64 shares on X this month:

Considering joining a cult just for the subsidized housing.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

20 shares on Slack this month:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

98 shares on Threads this month:

What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

54 shares on X this month:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24. I need more time to be ready for Monday.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Is this simulation from Temu?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,508

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Just landed via Instagram:

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Trending via Slack:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Freshly posted on X:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Spotted on Telegram:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Making waves on Facebook:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Trending via Discord:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

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