Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

761 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,923

Funny Quotes Topics

13,892

Funny Quotes Images

10,923

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Shared recently on Reddit:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Spotted on YouTube:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Making waves on Messenger:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Breaking via Facebook:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Just shared via Discord:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Making waves on Threads:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Shared recently on Slack:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

761 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,923

Funny Quotes Topics

13,892

Funny Quotes Images

10,923

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Being awake is the worst.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I’m so bored of being bored because being bored is really boring.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Just shared via Facebook:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Just landed via Twitch:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Breaking via Threads:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

Going viral on Reddit:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Just shared via Telegram:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Just landed via Slack:

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

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