Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Slow blinking at my boss so he knows I want a raise.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,367

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Just shared via X:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Just shared via X:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Just landed via Reddit:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Breaking via Reddit:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Spotted on Reddit:

I need a break from me.

Just landed via WeChat:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Freshly posted on Slack:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Seen just now on Facebook:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Funny beginnings quotes

New funny beginnings quotes 👇

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

3 months ago

backyard, beginnings, buried, fertilize, humor, new, new beginnings, past, ready, relationship, tomat

All funny beginnings quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

16 shares on Discord this month:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

Just shared via WeChat:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

Just landed via YouTube:

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

Broadcasted on Threads:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Just landed via TikTok:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My lips could use some attention today.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Just landed via Instagram:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Going bananas on Slack:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny beginnings quotes

New funny beginnings quotes 👇

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

All funny beginnings quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨