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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on TikTok:

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

Making waves on Messenger:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Making waves on Messenger:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

Spotted on Twitch:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Making waves on Threads:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Spotted on Telegram:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Going viral on X:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Breaking via Twitch:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

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