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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Bought some coconut shampoo, but when I got home, I realised I didn’t have a coconut.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,653

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Spreading quickly via X:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Just landed via Telegram:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Making waves on Telegram:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Shared recently on TikTok:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Shared recently on Slack:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

Just landed via WeChat:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

Going viral on Twitch:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Funny biblical loophole quotes

New funny biblical loophole quotes 👇

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

4 weeks ago

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All funny biblical loophole quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on TikTok this month:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

82 shares on Twitch this month:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

95 shares on Threads this month:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Going viral on Discord:

About to form my very first opinion.

Making waves on Telegram:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

Spotted on TikTok:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Making waves on Instagram:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny biblical loophole quotes

New funny biblical loophole quotes 👇

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

All funny biblical loophole quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨