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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Live now on Reddit:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Just landed via Reddit:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Just landed via Twitch:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Live now on Snapchat:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Shared recently on Threads:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

How is it still this week?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Live now on X:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Going viral on Discord:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Making waves on Discord:

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Just landed via Reddit:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

Live now on YouTube:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Just shared via Discord:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

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