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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

No more relationships for me; the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Have you tried complaining about it?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Making waves on X:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Trending via Instagram:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Going viral on Instagram:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Reported on Telegram:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Going viral on Slack:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

Live now on Instagram:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Broadcasted on Slack:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

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