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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Just landed via YouTube:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Spotted on LinkedIn:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Freshly posted on X:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Trending via TikTok:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Just shared via Instagram:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Seen just now on Twitch:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

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Funny calcium quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Aura is the real business card.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Just shared via Reddit:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Spotted on Snapchat:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Trending via Instagram:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Reported on Pinterest:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Making waves on Facebook:

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

Just shared via WeChat:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Reported on Pinterest:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Trending via Pinterest:

I look stable, but I talk to animals and wait for them to reply.

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