Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,775

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Freshly posted on X:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

Shared recently on Slack:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Shared recently on Slack:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Live now on Facebook:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Just landed via WeChat:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Funny cargo pocket quotes

New funny cargo pocket quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Discord this month:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

13 shares on Discord this month:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

65 shares on Threads this month:

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

87 shares on Facebook this month:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,300

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Spotted on WeChat:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Going viral on WeChat:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Just landed via YouTube:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Seen just now on Reddit:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

Just shared via Messenger:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Just landed via Facebook:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Spotted on Twitch:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

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